


I Have Come to Love Not You

by SongofThunder



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Child Abandonment, Child Neglect, Gen, Introspection, Repression, okay look if you want your kid to be good you have to actually parent them, terrible childhoods in general really, you know that right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:14:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29047479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SongofThunder/pseuds/SongofThunder
Summary: What do you do when your long-lost mother appears out of nowhere and asks to reconcile? In Lloyd Garmadon’s case, you smile and pretend it’s fine.(Character study, exploring Lloyd’s relationship with Misako nearing the end of Season 2.)
Relationships: Lloyd Garmadon & Misako
Comments: 5
Kudos: 52





	I Have Come to Love Not You

**Author's Note:**

> misako was a terrible mom and when I watched this season when I was younger I didn't see it but now that I'm rewatching it it's just. there's so much and I needed to write this down. she infuriates me. part of me hopes she gets better but part of me is FURIOUS. god. I need to watch more of this show.

What do you do when your long-lost mother appears out of nowhere and asks to reconcile? In Lloyd Garmadon’s case, you smile and pretend it’s fine.

Of course, his is probably a special kind. Normally you’re not the son of the most notorious villain of your time, you’re probably not the Chosen One meant to defeat him in a glorious battle of all four elements, and you definitely aren’t still mentally ten years old while your body has been aged forward around six years.

That would be ridiculous.

...Ridiculous seems to be happening to Lloyd a lot lately.

Does he love her? Yes. What son wouldn’t, given the chance? What child wouldn’t leap at the chance to finally have a parent in their life, one who the greater part of Ninjago doesn’t hate?

Does she love him? Without a doubt. She grows more comfortable with him by each passing day. She worries over him like every mother should and has done nothing but help ever since she met him again.

Lloyd  _ knows _ she meant well, and he  _ knows _ she threw herself into her research in order to  _ save him, _ and he  _ knows _ she’s trying her best and is just freakishly bad at showing it. He  _ knows _ she thought it was the best option.

But that’s the thing: It  _ wasn’t _ the best option. It  _ isn’t _ the best option, it  _ hasn’t been  _ the best option, and it never  _ will be _ the best option.

Misako, whatever her last name is now (he never did find out whether or not she actually divorced from his father or whether she just left without a trace) abandoned him on the doorsteps of the most notoriously abusive school in Ninjago and went off gallivanting to go study bones, and the worst part is, he would have thought it was  _ normal _ if the other ninja and Nya hadn’t given him horrified looks when he’d mentioned it offhandedly. That’s not something to take lightly. Even his  _ father _ acknowledges that it was never somewhere he should have been, even his  _ father _ never wanted Lloyd to succeed in being evil in the first place, and his father is a dark overlord attempting to destroy the world, cause mass genocide, and kill his friends! A dark overlord who has nearly succeeded on crushing Lloyd’s friends and teachers and family between his fingers on multiple occasions! When  _ he _ admits something’s wrong, it’s probably, most certainly, definitely wrong.

And then! And then even after  _ that,  _ his mother didn’t so much as look at him until he walked into her museum by complete mistake. (The one mission they let him come along on for once, and this happens.) She let him believe she was gone or dead for  _ his entire life _ , let him think that maybe she couldn’t bear to have the son of Lord Garmadon as a burden, let him think that he was deserving of every awful thing that had ever happened, and then the moment he sees her by  _ accident _ she’s all smiley and nice and  _ oh but son, I did it for you, _ and Lloyd doesn’t know how he’s supposed to even  _ react _ .

He could have walked out then and there. Would have, even. Except then there was a giant angry rock-man punching holes in the walls, and all the sudden teenage angst piled on him suddenly got thrown on the back burner.

And  _ then, _ after  _ that, _ now it turns out she has  _ super important research _ that she was  _ apparently _ working on while  _ also _ making a goddamn _museum_ _ exhibition _ , and so he doesn’t  _ get _ to walk away, and now he gets to simmer there, slam a lid on the pot, and hope it doesn’t boil over.

She could have at least sent  _ letters, _ he thinks bitterly. Or called him. Written the school so that he at least knew she knew he was alive. Did she ever think to check back on the school for turning kids evil to make sure Lloyd hadn’t died in there? He  _ might’ve, _ if they hadn’t kicked him out.

Did she think to check when he got kicked out, either? Did she know how long he’d wandered with nowhere to go?

(Maybe he wouldn’t have gone to the snakes if only he’d had something to look for.)

Even his father, trapped in the Underworld, popped up from time to time to at least wish him a happy birthday. From the way she hadn’t reacted to how much older he was, he doubts she even  _ remembers _ the day. Surely if you truly cared about your son, you’d notice how much older they are than they are supposed to be?

Lloyd himself hadn’t even known her name.

She’d just... left him.

He thinks back to the day Ninjago City was invaded by the Stone Warriors. And his mother had left behind her research, and wanted to go back for it.

He’d told her not to go, because she’d  _ die, _ and even a terrible mother is better than no mother at all. And she still said  _ “The research is too important” _ and ran off anyways. So what?

A bunch of paper was too special and too important to leave behind.

...But her son— but  _ Lloyd— _ wasn’t?

She was willing to die for those scrolls. Willing to let herself go down with her research. (And almost did.)

But she wasn’t even willing to raise her son?

But that’s not fair, and he knows it. This is bigger than him. This is bigger than everything. The research was far too important to endanger, because the fate of all Ninjago rested on her findings and being able to stop Garmadon. Without them, he wouldn’t have gotten nearly as far as he has.

And Lloyd, until very recently, was just Lloyd. Expendable. Delinquent child who wasn’t even delinquent enough to stay in a school made for kids like him.

Until he became the Green Ninja, he was nothing more than a burden. A kid that was literally too powerful to die and therefore okay to be left alone. For years. And now that he’s the Green Ninja, he’s finally important enough for his goddamn mother to actually start parenting for once.

Except... she’s still not really doing a good job. Every conversation they’ve had so far is about the big special destiny and what he has to do to fulfill it. “ _ Lloyd, you must fight your father.” “Lloyd, you must go to this temple.” “Lloyd, you’re the Green Ninja, and the Green Ninja is supposed to vanquish the darkness.” _

Yeah, yeah. He gets it.

It can’t possibly be this hard. Even  _ Kai _ is better at positive reinforcement, and Kai’s version of positive reinforcement includes yelling. A lot of yelling.

But it’s still better than “I’m glad you survived, now let’s go take some more precautions towards fighting your dad!”

For once Lloyd just wants to talk to his mother about things that don’t involve the destiny that was bigger than its actual subject. Is that so much to ask? Is it so much to want to talk to her about sports or hobbies or even how’s the weather? The bare minimum?  _ Really? _

But he  _ has  _ to keep her around. Sensei knows her. Her research is, yes, helpful. She has been nothing but polite, even if  _ only _ polite, since she started tagging along.

And admittedly, she’s his mother. He still loves her, at least a little. A part of him still wants to  _ know _ her. He still wants her in his life, if for no other reason than he’d like to have a parent figure that isn’t trying to take over the world. (Sensei doesn’t count. And the ninja, plus Nya, are more siblings than anything.)

(He’s seen them try to parent him. They are  _ not _ good at it.)

But he’s so  _ tired. _ More than anything, he wants to stop pretending he’s okay and that he and his mom are somehow one happy family, and that it’s perfectly fine she hasn’t talked to him about anything except his big special destiny, and that it’s not weird as hell that she’s making goo-goo eyes at Sensei, no matter how hard he tries to  _ not _ think about that.

But he can’t. He  _ has _ to pretend. Because the entire goddamn fate of Ninjago rests on  _ his _ ability to resolve his family issues and  _ make _ it so that they’re one happy family, nevermind that he’s the only one of the family who  _ isn’t _ a goddamn adult, and if he doesn’t, then everyone he knows and loves and everyone he doesn’t will all die and then it won’t matter anymore whether or not he has issues with his mom.

So he throws himself into training, hugs her when she asks. Completely ignores everything else.

He smiles. And nods.

And pretends it’s fine.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a show about legos why am I getting riled up about a fictional lego boy and his fictional terrible parents in a fictional lego show about legos


End file.
